


Of Cyborgs and Ashes

by JudeAraya



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, furt, inappropriate jokes about urns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-01
Updated: 2013-01-01
Packaged: 2017-12-05 13:23:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/723763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JudeAraya/pseuds/JudeAraya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn comes home to find that Kurt has accidentally broken the urn containing his father's ashes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Cyborgs and Ashes

**Author's Note:**

> Old story, prompted by the Hudmel Community on LJ back in 2011. 
> 
> Be warned, it's dark humor, considering that I keep my fathers ashes in a box by my fireplace and find them to be an endless source of humor when people sit next to them and don't know. I'm weird man.

When Finn walked through the door he was thinking about dinner. And maybe, kind of also about grabbing a snack before dinner. His mom was working the night shift again, but maybe if he was lucky Kurt was already making something. He’d have to pretend to be mad about it being all healthy and shit, but really, Finn didn’t mind. Kurt was a good cook, and he usually made dinner whenever Finn’s mom was working late, which was way awesome after years of burnt grilled cheeses and soup from a can. Finn’s stomach was grumbling and he was about to call out to Kurt, but he was interrupted by the sounds of shrieked laughter, his step-brother’s voice carrying clearly through the house,

“No, no Blaine…I swear to god!” Finn smiled. It was nice to hear Kurt so happy; it made him sound different, almost like a teenager or something. The sounds of giggles continued as Finn stood in the still opened door, followed by Blaine’s lower tones, quieter so that Finn couldn’t quite hear what was said. He turned to toe off his worn sneakers when he heard another loud laugh, an ominous thump and an equally ominous crashing noise followed by complete silence. 

Wondering what they’d broken, Finn grinned a little as he headed back toward the family room, anticipation happy in his bones. He never got to lecture Kurt for anything, ever. Finn wondered sometimes, if Kurt was even a teenager. He never swore in front of his parents, or tracked mud into the kitchen on a rainy day. Kurt did his chores without complaining and got like, really good grades, and if it wasn’t for Kurt’s tendency to get kind of bitchy and snippy about, like, everything, Finn would be pretty sure Kurt wasn’t even human. Like maybe he was some sort of cyborg or robot or something. Which would be way sweet. Really weird, but totally cool.

But now Finn finally had something to hold over Kurt, and he could not wait to rub it in Kurt’s face. Finn found Blaine and Kurt turned away from him near the fireplace; he was smiling and Blaine’s quiet whisper didn’t register at first,

“Oh my god Kurt is that-?” 

“Oh my god, ohmygod, ohmygod Blaine, oh my god.” Finn frowned, Kurt sounded almost hysterical, and when he rounded the couch and saw what they were both staring at, he knew why and his gasp was way too loud in the quiet room. Kurt’s reaction to this would have been comical; he spun so fast he almost over balanced, hands pressed to his cheeks, eyes blown wide. But it wasn’t funny, it wasn’t funny at all.

“Finn, I’m-“ Kurt swallowed, darting a glance at Blaine who was white faced, staring at the wreckage on the floor dumbly, “I’m so sorry, I swear it was an accident.”

“Kurt.” Finn felt his face, sort of smiling and sort of frowning and he had no idea what his face was even doing because he was sort of numb and kind of confused because really, what do you say when someone has shattered the urn holding your father’s ashes?

“You broke my Dad?!?” Finn’s voice was louder than he meant it to be, but he couldn’t seem to help it. Ashes were scattered everywhere, dusting the hems of Kurt’s jeans and falling into the weird crack that ran between the floor and the edge of the fireplace. “Oh my god, Kurt my mom.” Panicking, Finn turned as if expecting Carole to come into the room just then. Kurt and Blaine stared as he spun back to them, hands tugging at his hair,

“Don’t just stand there, come on! She can’t- I mean…his…Kurt he’s all over your pants!” 

“What?!” Kurt cried, “Oh, ewww, oh god that is so gross! I mean, I’m sorry Finn but, oh my god-“ Kurt seemed torn between shaking the sticky dust off of his pants and crying, inadvertently spreading more ashes as he did. 

“Stop, don’t…Kurt!” Finn was yelling again, holding out his hands like he was trying to calm a spooked horse or something and Kurt was glaring at him, which only made Finn more mad, “Ok, no you don’t get to look at me like that, you broke my Dad!”

“God, Finn, I’m sorry,” Kurt was almost wailing now, “I swear it was an accident, but he’s all over my pants and it’s just so creepy.”

“Forget your pants Kurt, we have to-” Finn stopped talking as he suddenly realized that Blaine was shaking, face buried in his hands. “Is he crying?” Finn whispered, gesturing toward the smaller boy. Kurt frowned, reaching over to Blaine and poking him in the shoulder. No way was he taking the step necessary to come closer, because he was in his socks and there were little piles of Finn’s Dad’s ashes everywhere.

“Blaine, what’s wrong…are you,” Kurt gasped again, dramatically, hands coming up to cover his mouth, “Are you laughing?”

“Oh dude,” Finn breathed, seeing that Blaine was, indeed laughing, “That’s so cold man.”

“I’m sorry.” Blaine choked out, struggling to control himself. “I can’t seem to help it, it must be a hys- hysterical reaction,” Kurt bit his lip and Finn resisted the urge to smack Blaine. Mostly because Blaine was so much smaller, but also because then he’d have to go near Blaine, who was still standing amidst the ashes. “I’m sorry,” Blaine was still laughing, wiping at tears, “It’s just…just so macabre, and you guys are saying things like ‘He’s all over your pants’ and oh my god who does this happen to?” 

Kurt was still biting his lip, only Finn thought maybe he looked a little pink, like he was trying not to laugh. When Kurt turned his face away, Finn knew it was because he was trying not to laugh, and that was just not cool at all, only…Kurt’s pants were still covered in his Dad’s ashes, and Finn could only imagine what his mother was going to say when she found out about this. And it was that, the realization that they were going to have to get the ashes off the floor somehow and into something, that cracked him. Because Blaine was right, it was the kind of wrong that is so wrong it’s funny. 

When Finn started laughing, Kurt let loose as well, and soon the three of them were howling, Finn doubled over, Kurt leaning to clutch at Blaine’s sleeve.

“We- we’re gonna have to like, dust him-“ Finn choked a bit, from laughter, “Into something, I don’t know…” He tried to look around, although he didn’t know what he was expecting to find in their family room that was suitable for…well for this. Kurt gasped out,

“Into? Into what?”

“I don’t know, like a ziplock bag or a tup- Tupperware or something.” Blaine had given up completely, falling backwards away from the ashes and onto his ass, laughing and stuttering the words ziplock and Tupperware between breaths.

It took a while, but eventually they all calmed down enough to breathe. As the only one not covered in ashes, Finn was relegated to fetching supplies, which included clean pants for both Kurt and Blaine because Kurt had insisted, arguing that otherwise they’d just be spreading ashes. Finn had a moment, imagining his father’s ashes scattered throughout the house, when he was sure he was going to start laughing again. It was either that or start crying. The fact that he wasn’t sure which to do was unnerving enough to stop any arguments altogether. 

When he came back, pants and Tupperware in tow (it might have been funny, but it had also seemed like the most practical solution), Finn was dreading the task at hand. He handed Kurt the clothes, then turned as both boys changed, moving slowly to minimize the spread of ashes. Kurt gathered the dirty pants with care, folding them so that the dusty hems were covered. Without speaking, he gestured to Finn, who was still holding the small broom and dustpan. Surprised, Finn hesitated.

“Finn, it’s ok. I don’t want you to have to do this.” Any trace of easy laughter or slight hysteria was gone, the room was so still that he could hear the sound of the cars out on the main road. Finn swallowed the lump in his throat; he could only imagine what Kurt must have been thinking. Finn didn’t really get a lot of things about Kurt, but he was pretty sure that stirring up cremated human remains was not good for the skin, and Kurt was like, crazy about his skincare.

But he handed the broom over anyway, looking Kurt in the eye. And it was maybe kind of strange, because it was Kurt’s fault in the first place that this happened, but Finn was almost glad because he’d never felt closer to anyone who wasn’t his mother before in his life. Kurt was the only other person that Finn had ever known who got it, who understood even better than Finn really, what it was like to lose a parent. To just have that piece of who you were, your history and life, missing.

So they watched, Blaine offering small suggestions from time to time, as Kurt struggled to sweep up the ashes without making a bigger mess or actually having to touch them. Finn was about to say something, moved by that moment they’d just sort of had, when Kurt dropped the small broom, sending up a cloud of dust and sneezing three times, quickly. Horrified, Kurt covered his nose and Finn forgot what he’d been about to say. 

“Dude, you just like, totally inhaled my dad.”

“Oh my god, Finn!” Blaine was smacking Finn’s arm and Kurt was laughing helplessly as Finn started to giggle and before they knew it they were all laughing again, and Finn was kind of glad because laughing was so much easier. He had a minute, between the laughing and jokes about inhaling, to remind himself to tell Kurt later, just how much it really meant to have a brother.


End file.
